She Saw Her


Image
I saw her walk on thorns
with a kind smile
and sad eyes
I saw her bloodied feet
baby pink polish on the nails
like a dove inside an open cage
refusing to fly away
 
I saw her.
 
I saw her today
with her patient smile
and exhausted face
so dark, red and purple
like gallons of tears and cries
pushed inside to hide.
 
I saw her.
 
Gulping down self respect
retorts of her educated mind
answers that could turn tables
I saw her choosing
to be belittled and abused
treated like no one had treated her
with the same broken smile
and her kind gestures of love
being discarded fiercely
 
I saw her
 
and i wondered
Is it worth it?
 
Little did i know
Little did i see
that she too wondered
 
Is it worth it?
 
© S.Mirza : 4:18 pm on December 17th 2013 
while listening to: Sab Bhula ke- a cover of Call being done foe the Nescafe Basement Show.
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Odes of Lost Love


Disclaimer: These beautiful verses have not been written by me. This picture is of  the Night sky at a lake in West Virginia and again has not been taken by me. :)

On a sad, sad day there was happy rain :)


On a sad, sad day
there were happy clouds
and thunder made a special appearance

On a sad, sad day
there was noise
puddles and literature

But on a sad, sad day
there was no happy you
or confessions and laughter

therefore on a sad, sad day
the rain is a welcome respite
and yet sadder
the evening that is to unfurl.

© S.Mirza

15 February 2013

Image

Betrayal


Image

She stretches and stretches

To accommodate your expectations

She fails, she fails

Because expectations can never be met

But her expectations

She threw in a trash can centuries before

Forgiving you everyday

For every heart string plucked

It’s sad, so sad

That she will always be the one so bad

And you, you

Will always believe that you gave it all

You did give her all

Betrayal

Deceit

Hypocrisy

Traits you call hers..

although never implemented as such..

Perhaps

You only

See yourself in the mirror.

Tongue In Cheek. (=


To the one who led her on

Not once, but strangely twice

Why did he incessantly haggle

When he couldn’t pay the price?


Oh that shallow, tragic, seeker

Of a perfection that does not exist

Did he forget to gaze at his faults?

Is it just his grandeur, he can subsist?


Maybe he should have pondered

Before jumping in like a fool

Think and think hard, before you act

Was this not taught in school?


If the self was a fish

It would swim in its own sea

It would be the only king

And be all that it can be.


But the world isn’t his sole realm

And let us thank God for that

It doesn’t end where his footsteps stop

And she is not at the mercy of his jest’ at


He of course would disagree

His intentions were never wrong

Maybe he could have checked himself then

Before coming on too stupidly strong.


Anyway, it was all for the very better

To think what a horrible mistake she could have made

So relieved to see the not so bad reality for once

Why compromise for jam, when you want marmalade?  ;)

**

©  S.Mirza

21 October 2010

| Listen, dear heart. |


 

Someone should tell the heart to give up

The battle ended before it even begun

Lines have already been drawn

White flags hung out to dry

 

Someone should tell the heart

Destiny cannot be averted

You tried switching the scroll

Piercing the lines of your hands

 

But here you are

standing in the same place

saying the same words

feeling the same pain

Smiling the same smile

wiping the same bitter sweet tears

dreaming the same elusive dreams

 

You will walk on the same path

jump over the same old fence

Breathe in the familiar

scent of grass wet with dew

smile wistfully at the orange glow

crunch the same autumn under your shoes

wrap the same scarf

entwine the same gloved fists

Dream the same elusive dream

 

together…

 

and fear

 

being left alone..

 

catch the breath in your dry throat

hear the heart gallop miles per second

 

Someone should tell the heart

to not make itself bleed

to not try to

foolishly avoid the inevitable

to not run away

you will look back..

 

Someone should tell the heart

where the souls are connected

letting go

would render you incomplete

living alone is not an option

and if it is made a choice

you will be one of those ghosts

who did not listen to their

Heart.

 

 

©  S.Mirza

9:24 p.m

16 October 2010

Saturday.

|~ Whirlpool ~ |


|~ Whirlpool ~ |



The henna washed away

into the calm lake

The index finger drew tiny whirlpools

On the blue, opaque surface

Depriving the water of the flesh

Teasing it with the nails

Round and round

The whirlpool forms…

She defied gravity in her mind

And placed her tiny feet over the waters

Closed her eyes

And swayed to the rhythm of the breeze

Sang a swan song

And danced to an ethereal tone

Over water

heels ignoring the salacious tiny waves

embracing the impossible

Round and round

She glided over water

Forming circles with her toes

Wider and smaller

she created a whirlpool around her existence

a whirlpool which arose in a mist

and surrounded her soul

and in a second

she gave in to reality

and drowned

in the whirlpool

she created.

© S.Mirza

15 September 2010

Wednesday

4:52 pm.

( post Eid and present birthday inspiration)

[ If Given a choice . . . ]


Given a choice

Would you hold my hand

and tell me  i am wrong

when i think i am right ?

and admit that i am right

when you are wrong ?

Would you tell me to stop

rather than let me go ?

and let me go

when i don’t want to stop ?

Would you ground me when i am lofty

and humble me when i’m not ?

and treat me like a queen

when i am at my worst?

Would you always tell me to improve

and relaunch my life?

and would you accept me for who i am

and accept my predictability?

Would you tell me to get over it already,

wake up and smell the coffee?

and would you let me whine

and throw a tantrum when i need it?

And when i am shy

would you push me just a little..  ?

and when i am not,

would you play too?

Would you be
you
and not
who
you are not?

and
would you
let me
be
me
and not who
you want
me
to
be?

If Given a Choice…

© S.Mirza

Traveller of the Sea


Something very silly, but something which made me imagine each and every bit of the experience, as if i felt it.


A sea shell pressed to her ear

She listens to the music of the sea

Swish, swoosh , sway

A mermaid’s lullaby

She feels the warmth of the setting sun

That drowned minutes ago…

We had a conversation

The sun and me.

Giggles of the clown fish

Ghetto of the sharks

Tentacles of the octopus

And moans of a whale.

He showed me all

We travelled awhile

The seahorse and me.

She swims in her mind

Lap after lap

Somersaulting through blue waves

Feeling her lungs stretched..

She found a goldfish

Oblivious to her quest

Victim to short term memory

She closed her eyes

Pretended she was shimmer gold too

Bronze glitter dotting her cheekbones

Fins at her slender back

She was beautiful

As beautiful as the sea

She was there

With the goldfish and me.

As I lost myself

Into the hallucinating glow

Time stood still

The movements slow

Tentacles wrapped themselves

Around my floating body

And the little life line

Was ebbing away..

The whistle of the Delphinus

Beckoned me

And the grip over me released

Slate grey happiness

Lifted me away

Carrying me to a joyride

We laughed and cried

The dolphin and me.

I looked up

To the roof of the sea

The glistening surface

The blanket of twilight

The intoxicating atmosphere

I swam to the surface

We raced

The Dolphin and me.

I tore the seams of the surface

And bathed in silver rain

Bid adieu to underwater life

I floated in peace

Silent and still

We floated into eternity,

We let go of ourselves

And our misery..

We washed our souls

We breathed the night air

We felt the earth move

We were one,

Myself and Me.

© S.Mirza

2:02 p.m

18 January 2010

Monday

She and her Vanilla Sky


She can write jumbled yet sorted words
When there is absolutely nothing on her mind
why not, she asks quite cheekily in her way,
in empty corners, precious treasures, she finds.

You see, she does not have words
which compete in grandeur and eloquence
She simply tries to very simply state
Jumbled dreams and incoherent nonsense.

She is not scared of showing her bruised knees
or the scabs which dot her rather lovely heart
Her sad eyes, are infact full of mirth and joy
Her thoughts are whole, despite the assorted parts.

She is wary of drama, and the fashionable depression
Why not glorify laughter for the sake of yourself?
She likes trouble, dead ends, obstacles and turns
Jump, dodge and fight, keep boredom on a shelf.

She believes in goodness, naivety she celebrates
Been stabbed and played, but she still smiles
You cannot tear her optimism or break her dreams
You will still find her humming all the while.

She knows she is helpless, and knows HE pulls the strings
She knows her will maybe can change the scroll
Yet she gets stuck because she does not know to end
The journey on which she has absolutely no control.

So let her touch the imaginary sparkly stars
that twinkle with abandon in her solemn eyes
Let her spirit fly free, embrace candyfloss clouds
Let her take a big bite out of the vanilla sky.

© S.Mirza
24 December 2009 / Thursday
11:40 p.m

Disconnected


Stronger than bitter truth

Worse than a mere heartache

Insensitivity to emotions and plight,
understanding, belonging, life itself a fake.

Diminished importance, an atom’s existence,
Spoken, unspoken, it matters not,
There will no acknowledgment, no resistance
Realisation, from Lord, help should have been sought.

Despite such a cold demeanor, there are no complains,
Gladly relinquish her defense in this one sided trial,
Who would believe her anyways? Wasn’t there always laughter?
Who would remember the grin when even she forgot how to smile?

Life is perfect, life is the way it is supposed to be,
Spoons of choking sweet syrup, cut throat, heart slicing, sharp,knives
She is doing fine, they all say and I agree, she certainly is,
No breaking news here, she is just disconnected from life even though alive.

©S.Mirza
1:15 p.m
12 October 09
(after midnight)

Rain dance and Rain tears


DewDrop

Swimming in the expanse of the blue surreal body,
I was the one, i was the grand ocean,
I rose and fell with the swirling waves,
Passing through currents, going through the motions.

My thoughts were large and i was unique,
I carried the life, my actions fashionably risque,
I did not realise that i was small,
Until the fateful day, when i took the fall.

The blueness gurgled me from its belly,
And i surged towards the silver surface,
Attracted by warmth and silver light,
My soul began burning as if in a furnace.

Such pain and ecstasy, as i split like star dust,
Such fear and intimacy, yet embrace i must,
I floated as unseen steam, i scattered away,
My loftiness shattered, for redemption i prayed.

I floated away towards the magnetic pull of the cloud
Was this my end? Was this my shroud?
My self esteem dissipated, no longer i was proud,
I was left with my silence within the growing crowd.

Pushed down by new visitors, within my identity i drowned,
I contemplated my naivity, the thought of smallness did hound,
But i learnt to adjust, and i explored the new abode,
I suffocated, and worse, i knew i was the load.

I was constrained, i could not breathe,
I wanted closure, the end i needed to meet,
I sensed the cloud’s mood change to the dark,
There was anxiety within, was this the last mark?

And then the blanket tore, and i was shoved outside,
powerless in the atmosphere, nature’s will i had to abide,
But something was different, my spirit was not enchained,
I was dancing deleriously, i was the rain.

I fell on the parched earth,
With passion i was embraced,
There was sweet perfume emenating from us,
And the secret of life in our existence laced..

And as i dissipated, i realised with certainty this sweet tasting pain,
From raindance, to rain tears, i will awaken to raindance again.



© S. Mirza

6 September 09
21:23 pm. Sunday.

Abysmal


Lone Tree

Dull ache
Like fists pounding my temple
Urging me to wake up
Fight, breathe, rebel
And claim what is mine.

I remain
Numb
Cold
Slow
Dead.

Swimming in the abyss
of unanswered questions
unheard screams
unwept tears
unrealized dreams..

I do not want happiness
Anymore
Just peace
And calm
Silence
Broken by intermittent laughter
As a confirmation of living
When Dead.

My verses do not rhyme
My footsteps, unbalanced
My thoughts, galloping
My words not catching up…

And a sea of sadness
Mixed in my existence
Like sugar being mixed in coffee
By a perfectly manicured hand

And I think
I shall remain
Incomplete
Lost
Clueless
Dead
In the realm of Nothingness.

© S.Mirza

12:42 pm
10 August 09
Monday

Her Poem


betrayed

She made flesh, blood and skin an idol,
A demigod to which she sacrificed her soul,
Big mistake-a sin and a crime,
She wasn’t the destination,but a mere role,
Her value diminished like dust on the floor,
She does not even like herself any more.

His answers to her questions- attack and defence,
Manipulate emotions, her plight she does sense,
Her tormented heart not worth a pence,
Her eternity now seems to be a pittance
Its all shallow, hollow is the existance’s core
Love has made her hate herself some more…

Crushed like eggshells, parched as dry leaves,
Self delusion doesn’t even let her fully grieve,
When did she become a begger and not a chooser?
Why did she wear the blindfold,acquiesced to be a loser?
Why always ajar? Why didn’t she shut the door?
She has started to hate herself some more.

The breathing turned scant,even before the angel arrives,
For nothingness, did she afterall strive?
What made her always want to understand?
What made her step into the sinking sand?
Her own heart like discarded paper, she casually tore,
She will die and make him never love her anymore.

©S.Mirza
1:18 a.m
23rd May 09

Can we Last?


broken


Pacts of a lifetime and covenants of fidelity,

The tongue  is teased by words which taunt

And yet indulging in idle, unneeded frivolity

The ghost of an annihilated memory rises to haunt.


The myriad lies as always get dissolved  fast

And she wonders, “Can me and you last?”



Sifting the grainy truth,

Interpreting the double meanings

Hindered by conjectures

Tired by nature’s screenings.



Will destiny please reveal itself, at last?

She still wonders, “Can me and you last?”



Embracing promises and new horizons,

Yet meeting the same dusty roads,

Casting off worries and emotional baggage,

And yet taking on heavier loads.



How can the future mutate into a remnant of the past?

Why does she still question, “Can you and me Last?”



Sheltering your shortcomings,

defending your mistakes,

But never ever, take it for granted

Do not forget what is at stake..



My heart is not enclosed and protected within an iron cast

If it breaks, she will know- me and you, we were never meant to Last.


© S.Mirza

16:40 p.m.

14 March 2009- Saturday

My Verdict


And they ask you questions
The answers to which they do not understand
And they talk of what ifs
Without realizing the power of Allah’s hands…

And they talk of personal wants
And the issues facing their lives
And the greed and wants they have
Conveniently forgetting the word realize

They draw an exclusion, tell you to sidestep the issue
And tell you that the same should not be considered
And then they give you a blow from another side
For them you look alright, when you feel disfigured…

For things need not be related to each other,
Or hold a pattern or a relation to you,
Some things should be taken in isolation,
And we should not wonder whether it’s false or true…

But how I ask, when you stab someone deep
Or involuntarily, push you down the steep,
And how when their words have an impact on you,
And about a breaking heart, they don’t have a clue?

Oh, but your ignorance is bliss, I must admit,
And since I am me after all, I shall submit,
For all the insensitivities, I shall always forgive,
My wants I shall diminish, and yours- I will give.

And when I stand head bowed on the judgment day,
The blame will be on me, no excuses I can say,
I chose to be the victim, I chose to not fight back,
Even when I knew the end- an abyss – eternally black.

© S.Mirza

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 8:29pm

Flamenco


Red Flamenco
Stilletoes on Fire
Passion Dances
To an intense, native rythem


Heart beat gallops
Miles afar
to reach the elusive
Mystic landscapes


Sensual souvenirs
hourglass grace
intimacy teases
attention
as fierce eyes
awake a long slumber

Strappy laughter
Coquettish strutting
The shackled heart
is finally free


Goosebumps breathe in
Exotic Perfume
Sour lemon and cinnamon fumes


the Icecube swirls
to melt in a whirlpool embrace.
and the candle dances
to the beat of the storm

Red Flamenco
Layers of Rouge
Kohl lined to perfection
crimson lips
fish net skin
and the never ending show
which must go on.


© S.Mirza


28th December 2008- 2:34 p.m

Dehumanising the Human


depressed

Dark, Darkness, Darkening the Dark,
Soul succumbs to whispering demons
Inside, Outside, Inside- the cycle continues,
The hope for hope slowly diminishes


Sapphire eyes are afterall only stones
And tears a marvel, a miracle
for the Saddening Sadness, saddens the world
and Worried worries lose their charm.

Sarcastic Sarcasm smiles Sarcastically,
Cutting edge quips are knifing away.

When nothing could humanise the soul
Nothing could fill in the void, the hole,
Someone sees the unseen,
Despite the mouth, unbearingly mean.

Real Reality puts up a fight,
To pull down again into melancholia,
Appears a Ray of Light.

© S.Mirza

11 December 2008-Tuesday- 22:04 p.m.

Never Ending Journey


never ending journey

I have been walking
slowly but surely
quick steps
a run
heavy steps
The cycle repeats itself
The journey does not end
The destination never reached.

I am a vagabond in search
of an oasis
I keep stumbling upon
a mirage.

when
tears had dried
and eyes had
turned to stone
the quest for an abode
comes to haunt me again

so close and yet so far
the pain drips from the eyes
and reaffirms the lack of choice..

I cannot stop
I have to walk on
and now it suddenly dawns on me
like a forgotten memory-

It is infact
The destination itself
which is in search of me.

© S.Mirza

14 October 2008 -12:00 p.m.

Dual Facade


https://i1.wp.com/www.desicomments.com/dc/13/30819/30819.jpg

Conversation in abundance
Eluding the shadow attached
Concentration on a reflection
Duality and a facade readily matched

© S.Mirza

13 June 2008