Instinct


Trust your instincts. Always trust your instincts. They are seldom wrong and will always save you unnecessary trouble.

If someone asks you to go against your instincts, don’t let them. It does not mean good. If anything can go wrong, it will.

Hold your ground.

There’s a reason, your heart is saying no or yes to a particular situation. You may not understand the logic initially, but sooner or later, it will be all there in black and white for you to see.

Trust your instincts.

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Begging- a solution?


A few days back, stepping out of a cafe situated in the narrow lanes of Zamzama, a rather loud voice made acquaintance with my ear drums. The voice belonged to a young girl telling a story by heart. It was a story that was not mere narration but had the added advantage of emotion and adjustable volume and expression. To make a long story short, the girl was relaying the story of her younger brother lying on a cart pushed by her parents. His leg was deformed and the girl was pleading that somebody help her and her family and give her money so that she could get her brother treated.

My heart immediately went out to her and I wanted to rush and help her family. But I was stopped by an all-knowing voice who told me:

–          Notice how confident she is.

–          Notice how she is cleverly evoking emotions off you.

–          Notice how instead of her parents working hard and going to well known charities for help, they are choosing to make a spectacle of their son and walk in the streets.

–          Why don’t you go and try to take the boy to the hospital and pay for all expenses…  See how this family will respond then…?

They are cleverly taking money off naive folks like you instead of working hard in a halal fashion to get their son treated or to go to the right people because of course common sense tells you that help will miraculously arrive in the streets of Zamzama where women are flitting in and out of designer boutiques and shoe stores.

*gulp* :o(

And I realize giving money is not always the solution.

Do you waste Food?


 

“Eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allâh) likes not Al-Musrifûn (those who waste by extravagance.”

Al-A’raf 7:31 of the Holy Quran

If there is one thing that really upsets me is when I see people wasting food. My mom taught me to finish whatever I put on my plate and to date, I try my best to do so unless I feel that one more spoon and I would just die or get sick. Even then, I ensure that the remaining food is not thrown but parceled and either consumed later or given to a stray cat to feast on.

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As Muslims, it is simply unbecoming of us to waste food. However even as good humans, we should be cognizant of the fact that in other parts of the world, people are dying because of starvation owing to famine, and here we are simply putting too much on our plate and then later leaving it.

If you are skeptical about the spices used in the food or whether the meat is rare, medium or well done, simply do not put a whole chunk on your plate. Put very little so you can taste and then decide whether you want to eat it or not. That is basic common sense.

Anas said: “The prophet ordered us not to leave anything in the plate and he said: “You do not know in which portion of your food Allah has put the Barakah (Blessing)”. Muslim

And what of people who go to buffets, weddings and all you can eat snack/salad items and fill their plates with layers and layers of food and salad to make a tiny mountain, only to leave the remnants of that mountain behind. Why such greed? Why can’t we just take a small/medium helping and then if we need more, get up and get some more of the food item?

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Be thankful for the food that you get on your plate and do not waste It because there are almost 925 Million people in the world starving because of hunger? Would you waste food if you were one of these people? The ones who go through the garbage to get a morsel of food?

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I am especially irked by the food items produced to get a mention in the Guinness World Book of Records. “World’s Biggest Pizza”, “World’s Biggest Cake” .Shame on you!

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Instead of wasting so many ingredients, you could be World’s Biggest Sane Person, if you instead donated the amount that it cost to makethis World Biggest Nothing, to a reputable charity providing food to the hungry. You wasted so much food for a stupid record. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Let us please try our best from this day:

(i) To only put the quantity of food that you can eat on your plate

(ii) To dispose off leftovers – not in the garbage can-  but in such a way that they can either be (a) reused or (b) given to a stray cat/dog who will consume these leftovers

(iii) To take care of the hungry in what little capacity you can.

Have a good day everybody.

Cheers. :)

Rab dilan vich rehnda..


It is very easy to hurt someone and say sorry. It is even easier to justify your actions. It is infact easier to do things behind people’s back even with the knowledge that once they find out they will be crushed. Easy to have the audacity to justify the BIG mistakes that you have done and blame it on another. Easy to pick on something very little and make it very big when it comes to another person without looking at your own short comings.

The bigger, better person always forgives but does he/she forget and does he/she stop hurting?  Serious questions which none of us want to answer.

Life is easier to live and your conscience will be clear once you understand this verse by Bulleh Shah:

Masjid dha de, mandir dha de, dha de jo kucch dainda ,

par kisi da dil na dhanwein, Rab dilan vich rehnda.. 

( Tear down the Mosque, tear down the temple, tear down every thing in sight,

But don’t (tear down) break anyone’s heart.. because in the heart God resides.. )

Once you understand this verse, you would know that hurting or breaking the heart of even your worst enemy is a sin in itself.

 

S

April 18th, 2012

Dear Big Gal on the Outside . . .


This letter is for the girl i have never met. It may also be that i am writing this letter based on assumptions, and you know what they say about assumptions. Oh, you don’t? Ah… in that case, let it go. Oh, but you insist? Well, an assumption is the mother of all F***ups. Oh come on, i am so not going to spell it out for you. I mean as far as i am concerned, i think, ‘Mess up’, is a perfect substitute, don’t you think?

But i am digressing. I heard about a girl yesterday. Maybe i dreamt about her. Or maybe, i have just thought of a fictional character, but i am trying to convince myself that the character is real. Well, i don’t care, and neither should you. You know why? Because, i don’t think it is important. And maybe, after a certain point, you will agree with me. If not, heck i tried.

AND NO, THE GIRL ISN’T ME! GOD! Judgemental aren’t you all?

But wait let me write the letter first….

* * * * * * *

Dear Big Girl on the outside,

How are you doing? How is the weather? How is life in general and is there anything, ’specific’ you want to tell me?

Ofcourse, you don’t. You are perfectly contented sitting in that corner, quietly and patiently doing what you have to do. Yes, there are a thousand, million, billion and gazillion thoughts in your head that plague you, and whose shadows sometimes lurk in your empty eyes, but as far as we are concerned, you will still tell us, you are ok and doing alright.

Well guess what! I know your secret. You are not ok at all, and despite being big on the outside, you are really a little five year old child inside. Is that shock on your face? Are you angry? This should not really be a revelation to you. You have known it all along.

I don’t think that it is a bad thing. Infact, i think it is a very good thing. Children are innocent, have clear hearts and almost always speak the truth. They don’t speak to you in the guise of being someone they are not. The only problem which i have is that, you are not being true to that five year old.

You see five year olds are also quite stubborn when they have to be. When they want something, a new doll, a new toy car- they really do want it. They plead, they cry and smart ones may also make up a case stating all the reasons why they should get that particular toy in order to convince their parents to do the same. You, on the other hand, who frankly only needs to convince herself to do or get something for herself or implement an idea (considering after all you are a big girl on the outside), still needs to convince A, B, C and D to do or get something. Strange thing is A, B, C or D really don’t need to be asked or convinced. You want something or want to implement something (legitimate and legal of course), then go get it. I know the five year old would.

Let me also clarify, that i suppose i am a five year old girl inside too, just that, i am not that girl ALL the time. I flit between the girl in the late twenties and the five year old. You although may be in the late twenties, but are constantly stuck in the five year old mode. Well, don’t! And if you have to be, do it properly. I am going to support you all the way. What fun would that be actually?

There is a reason why you are still a five year old girl on the inside. I suppose it has to do with your parents who never let you bloom the way you wanted to. Everything was regulated. Everything was criticized. Sometimes, you felt that you could never match up to their expectations, so you moulded yourself as much as you could to their expectations.

Then one day, a very different day, something very different happened. Someone liked you for who you were. Ofcourse, given the circumstances you gave in, and fell hard in love. You didn’t know the falling would not just be hard on the knees but hard on the heart too. And yes, the scabs are still, after the passage of time, tender. That someone who gave you the strength and comfort you always needed turned out to be liar and left you for another.

Fair enough girl.  But let me break it to you- it happens to a lot of people. You are not the only one. Yes, you were the most sincere, honest and committed, but he wasn’t, and that is that. Would you rather that he left you after marriage, or felt miserable with you and vice versa or that he made the decision now.

Uff! That look again! Yes, i admit. He was the biggest moron on planet earth, along with the million others (maybe even including me). If he never planned to marry you or didn’t find you worthy enough to be a life partner, then he should never have led you on, never promised to be with you, and a hundred, ‘never’ other things. But honey, it happened. And sooner or later you need to get over it.

Even five year olds stop talking to certain other children, but then bravely open their hearts to love and befriend again. Five year olds are most accommodating, compromising and non judgemental. They don’t befriend people according to the strict guidelines which frankly everyone, including your self will fall short of. He should be hundred percent honest. Never lie. Never say something mean. Be most compassionate and most understanding. He should raise you up, and be there with you, always nodding when you may be at your most irrational and whiny. What PMS doesn’t happen to you?

Thing is, if you do manage to find someone like that- he is fake and not normal.

So how about cutting yourself some slack and opening your heart to love someone again. I know a five year old would. Maybe the five year old would wear red ribbons, make a ,’heart’ card or wear multi coloured beads to attract that other kid and impress him. I don’t see you doing that. Most people are not telepathic and cannot read your mind. You need to tell them how you feel. And just like you probably won’t enter a garden which has an imposing gate with a huge padlock and a notice which says, ‘Trespassers Beware’, nobody would want to look into your heart if you don’t open your heart to them and be gentle and more accepting.

Oh, that thing which people tell you that there is definitely someone who will like you irrespective of whatever and make an effort to get to know you, well, they too are liars. How many people would fall for the principal in Matilda, the movie? Did you notice the movie reference? I think most five year olds like it. :p Ok, i suppose i am not making much sense, especially since you are MashaAllah so pretty and one of the most genuine and compassionate people i have met. That was a bad example. All i mean to say is that you need to smile more often for the sake of smiling and start enjoying life for the sake of life itself. You need to start accepting people and open your heart again, leaving behind that dreadful past, without imposing a strict criteria on yourself or other people.

You, dear girl- you need to take risks. I admit not all children take risks. Some just prefer to have that chocolate flavoured ice cream and continue to have that even when they are older. No! I don’t have a problem with chocolate ofcourse. Who would? But occasionally, i move to blueberry or cookie and cream or mango…..So you need to take risks too. I am not asking you to hang around with wannabe’s and addicts, but don’t say no to a positive experience. Who knows you may like life more or meet someone new or make fabulous new friends. I mean you should atleast try, shouldn’t you?

Sorry to be on your case, and i feel that at any point i might just get a slap around my face, but there is something else i wanted you to know. You are Human.

Don’t give me that, ‘Duh’ look, because i am not being very literal here. I feel that you are too hard on yourself. You are allowed to make mistakes. You have the right to have faults. You can be selfish. You can eat that extra slice of cake (once in a month maybe.p). You can tell me to buzz off. I mean if i am pissing you off, you should tell me to go take a hike on another planet.

Did you just actually say that to me?

Wow. You learn fast. See, that is the first step. This means that this letter of mine is actually making some sense and you are learning and implementing some of my suggestions.

Oh God! Please don’t crumple this masterpiece and tear it in a thousand pieces. Please.

This is anyway the moment where i bid adieu, but let me just say: “Give yourself a break, kiddo!” We all need a break sometime.

Take care of yourself and Smile :) ,

Your smart arsed well wisher.  : P


Albinism and Pakistan


I decided to take my six year old cousin, Sana who suffers from albinism to the Valima ceremony with me. She was looking really pretty with her pink shalwar kameez  and her beautiful white hair held with beautiful hair clips. She beamed at me and i smiled at her. We sat on our respected seats, the farthest ones from the stage, where the resplendent bride sat with the beaming groom. Our choice of seats was based on the fact that we had entered pretty late in the venue. I had an evening flight from Karachi to Lahore, and catching up with relatives meant that i entered the venue at 9:00 p.m. just an hour away from the end of the ceremony.

So there we were, ammi, me and Sana taking in the beautiful lights, the bright clothes of guests and my eyes followed my lovely friend. It was her brother’s wedding and believe it or not, we were meeting for the first time. We had been online and phone friends for ages and i had used the excuse of her brother’s wedding to come down to Lahore and finally meet her.

Back to Sana, mom and me. This was the first time i was meeting Sana too. She is a bright, confident and very, very loving child and i was enjoying spending time with her. This enjoyment though was short lived. Within minutes, children started to point at her and whisper to each other. Some came close as if to inspect her and continued staring at her. Some laughed and some ran here and there to tell other children about the strange girl with white hair, white eye brows and pink eyes. None however attempted to speak to her, ask her name, ask us about her , or called to her to play with them. They just stared and stared and stared at her. I tried to talk to a few children, coaxing them to shake Sana’s hands, talk to her and play with her, but by then Sana’s confident personality had shrunk to a troubled child, with her head down and a blank stare on her face.  My mother could not take it anymore and scolded the children away.

Soon dinner was served, and we whisked Sana to the dinner table. She did not want to eat anything. I got some nice kulfi ice cream for her, knowing that a child cannot refuse ice cream. But she did. By now ammi and me were concerned and started to softly persuade her to try a spoonful. Within seconds, she started crying. Ammi and I exchanged alarmed glances. Thankfully, her father, who is also my uncle, and who had also come to the ceremony with us, appeared out of nowhere and took Sana in his arms. They strolled away into the main hall of the ceremony which was empty by now.

Later on, we learned that she was upset because of the way the children treated her. She wished she was brown and not white, then no one would look at her this way. *sigh. heart-break *

My uncle held her and told her that she should never feel this way because Allah has made her very beautiful and that is why she is so extra ordinarily special. He told her that other children were just jealous and curious , because they had never seen someone so beautiful. I quipped in, that she looked just like a Barbie doll, so obviously the children couldn’t resist themselves and just had to look at her to admire her.

Next step was to advise her of how to behave when facing such a situation.  She needed to smile. She needed to introduce herself. She needed to shake their hands and then suggest any particular game in her mind to play. If they asked her why she was white, or why her eyes were pink, then she could tell them simply that Allah made her different  because she was very special to him and that he wanted everyone to look at her and appreciate HIS beauty. :)

Sana and i became great friends , and if it wasn’t me , who was hugging her, it was her hugging me. :) But this episode made me wonder about the life ahead of her and the things she would have to face. It also made me wonder about those albino children who perhaps don’t have supportive parents or don’t find the answers to the questions that plague their mind  so easily.

For those who don’t know about albinism, it’s a is a congenital disorder characterized by the complete or partial absence of pigment in the skin, hair and eyes due to absence or defect of an enzyme involved in the production of melanin. Albinism is associated with a number of vision defects, such as photophobia, nystagmus and astigmatism. Lack of skin pigmentation makes the organism more susceptible to sunburn and skin cancers. So predominately, albinos have pale skin, white hair, white eyebrows and white eyelashes, along with pale  blue/ pink pupils in their eyes, owing to which they cannot directly stare at the sky and sometimes it can get even worse. This is the reason albinos are usually seen wearing dark glasses. Sana too has trouble seeing things on the blackboard in her class at school despite the powered spectacles she wears, but the teachers in her school are very supportive.

Sana tries out my shades

‘ Sana tries on my shades ‘

What i really want parents to do is educate their children to accept people different from them whole heartedly. Children must be taught to accept and appreciate diversity in all senses, and especially to never, never and i mean never, make fun of people who are not like them.

I decided to search the internet for support groups for Albinos in Pakistan and i did not find There did however exist a webpage for the Albinism World Alliance .

To quote from the website here: http://www.albinism.org/awa.html

“ The Albinism World Alliance (AWA) is a network of albinism support groups in various countries. The AWA was founded in 1992 by representatives from Australia, Canada, Tanzania, the United Kingdom, and the United States of America. The AWA has grown to include albinism support groups in Germany, Mali, Malawi, the Netherlands, Puerto Rico, Norway, and South Africa, and other countries.The objectives for the organization are:

–          To serve as a network of albinism support groups,

–          To share information regarding albinism,

–          To promote awareness of albinism internationally

–          To promote development of albinism support groups throughout the world.

–          To share information about technology that will benefit persons with albinism.”

Interesting and very well planned,  I must say, especially since people suffering from albinism face a lot of discrimination and bias to the extent of it being life threatening around the world. For example, in African countries such as Burundi, Nigeria and Tanzania, “White”,  is considered to be a curse from god(s)” and therefore considered abnormal. Some say that being born an albino is a curse for the mother, who has supposedly been unfaithful.  Owing to this reason, many albino children are murdered upon birth.  They may also be killed for magical purposes to be sold for potions in particular to traditional healers and “witch doctors” in rural areas. Thankfully, this is not done or believed in AlhamdulilAllah.

There is infact a unique Albino Village of Bhatti Tribe in Rural Sindh in Pakistan , where there is a large number of Albino inhabitants. If you want to read about them, please click here:

http://www.sid.ir/En/VEWSSID/J_pdf/90420090202.pdf

Typically most of the inhabitants are unaware of the implications of their conditions and the precautions that they should take to avoid the medical complications of albinism.

I worry about Sana . I worry about these people and i worry about the thousands of Albinos around the world who not only have to go through the medical problems associated with albinism but also have to fight against the inherent stereotypes and discrimination.

May Allah s.w.t save them from the blood thirsty fools who don’t realise that we are all made by Allah  and hence flow from the same source and are equal in his eyes, save for who is more pious than the other,  and just because someone has a medical condition or is different from the majority, does not mean that they are in any way inferior. Hmph!

I think, therefore I am.


The Question:

What is the purpose of your existence? How long will your foot-prints last in the sands of time?I have an expiry date , so why should I run around to be so much to be successful in life? What will that achieve ?

https://i2.wp.com/th08.deviantart.net/fs27/300W/f/2008/035/1/7/Existence_Is_Punishment_by_werol.jpg

My answer:

“Na tha kuchh toh Khuda tha,

kuchh na hota toh Khuda hota

Duboya Mujhko hone ne,

na hota Main toh kya hota ?”

“When there was nothing, there was God
If nothing had been, God would have been
My very being has been my downfall
If I hadn’t been, what would it have mattered?”

– Mirza Ghalib

When i look at the constellations and the never-ending universe, the small miracles in everyday life, the literal helplessness that i have in not having the knowledge of tomorrow and death itself, i give up asking the questions , and i am at peace. I know i have been created for a reason, and the reason , at least for me, is to help people, spread love and submit myself to the will of Allah. The more i complicate things, the more restless, clueless and prone to disaster i feel i am. Been through it once, and i do not fall into the same ditch again. sometimes not knowing is empowerment.

The ‘P’ word . Perfection !


Perfection? Why do people strive for it? Isn’t perfection plain boring? I think so. I mean, if everything was predictably perfect all the time, things would never go wrong. When things do not go wrong, there is no last time rush of adrenaline , a run to fix things, an awkward moment, laughter, quips, constructive behavior.. i could go on and on. When things are perfect, you don’t learn anything. You don’t grow and in some ways, you don’t feel those potent emotions which make life worth living (Come on, a wee bit exaggeration wouldn’t hurt anybody, would it? ).

This of course does not mean that you should not strive for the best. It just means that the best can  be ordinary at times, and you should be able to deal with it, rather than being disappointed, dejected and become a runaway scaredy cat in search for the next best thing. The bubble will burst sooner or later, and boy oh boy, what a rude awakening , would that be.

Personally, i am scared of things which are too picture perfect.  It’s almost unreal. sigh-

My mind goes to the very much conservative verdict: Nazar lag gayi ( bad eyes/envy ), everytime something supposedly perfect smashes to pieces infront of me.

So, what should we do if things are going too perfect? In fact so much so perfect, that you cannot believe it yourself. Don’t advertise the perfection firstly, and secondly, be prepared mentally and emotionally, that perfection is short-lived and you should be geared for any eventualities, and the non perfectness of it all.

Am i being pessimistic? Nooo…  Just practical and geared up for reality, which tends to hit us hard in the face- like a bitch slap ( i can’t believe i said that- i am in a really mentally distorted state of mind, right now. )

Nobody is perfect. Nothing is perfect.

I’d like to paint the perfect sunset sky some day, and if i don’t get it right, i am going to smudge all the colours together and blend them, and let me tell you, for some reason, i am sure the results would leave me contented, because what i created , could not have been created, if i did not even try. And if i tore the painting, because it was not perfect, i would be letting go of a perfect canvas with hues and colours which have a beauty of their own, when there is no guarantee that i’ll ever be able to paint the perfect sunset…. what may be imperfect for me , may be perfect for another..

You should stop trying to mould people into the ‘perfection’ you would like to see. You should admit the thousand imperfections in yourself and admit that you are a work in progress like all the other people out there. So why not work together? Hmm? =)

“People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it- Edith Schaeffer”

Have we sold our souls for personal gain?



A famous proverb states that: “A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit; neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.”  Similarly, where we sacrifice the purity, value, morality and basic goodness of our soul, the end result will also be dissatisfaction of the soul, which never finds peace. The soul will remain restless and haunted, with no destination of its own. However, nowadays, no one has any issues in sacrificing their soul for materialistic pleasures and to get ahead or to fit in a certain so called elitist class.

The real motive is to get the vti car, the flat screen tv, the perfect home, the perfect PDA cell phone , the lap top, the designer clothes and jewellery as quickly as possible and most importantly to boast and show off the same to other people.  Inorder to achieve the same, most people  have no qualms in sacrificing their soul to the devil, compromising on the morals and ethics inherent to it.

You don’t believe me? You think that I am being too pessimistic? But why? The devil has eaten half the souls around us and people have happily made the transaction for the materialistic personal gains that they will reap out of it. Open your eyes. I give you a few examples:

Take bribery for example. Why do you think people make the under the table deals? To get money. Money which they will not have gotten if they had followed the rules and procedures set down by law. Without the considerable cut for getting a job done, would the amount in their personal bank accounts be as substantial as after taking the bribe? Where have ethics gone for that person?

What about the women and men, who sell their souls and their bodies in the corporate world, to get a higher designation, be promoted and get a pay raise? Where is self respect in this matter?

Have you not heard of circumstances where a certain person works really hard and puts forth all dedication to achieve a certain goal, and his/her friend very cleverly steals the same under his/her nose. Where is friendship in this scenario?

And what about men and women being in a sincere relationship and eventually cheating on each other. Sometimes, even when people may be married to each other, but the sincerity, dedication and unconditional love is taken for granted? Where has love gone?

Furthermore, pray tell me if you have not heard of ghastly tales, where even blood relationships become empty, shallow and selfish. Where are family values and blood ties, where siblings fight over property, and sometimes even kill each other for the same? Where is respect when children argue with parents over materialistic gains like a new car or a new cell phone? Is their soul alive or has it been compromised?

If you thought that this was bad, it gets much worse. We have even sold our souls for personal gain to the extent that we do not carry our religious duties. It may be time for salah (namaz), but a friend or guests come over, and just because we want to impress them by fully catering to them, we ignore our prayers and make them stale.

-There are times when some people are extremely mean to folks who are not as well off as them and mistreat them, inorder to feed their own egos and to impress similar and selfish people. The devil has bought souls to such a large extent, that some people feel ashamed in uttering the basic Islamic greeting, “Asalam o Alaikum” and feel ashamed to offer their prayers in public.

So why do you still argue that our souls are unblemished and we have not sold it for personal gain, when the reality around us states exactly the opposite. Yes, there may be some good people left on this inconsequential planet, but these very few are not valued by the selfish society. These people are the ones who have to face the most hardship, poverty, ridicule and adversity. The good thing however is that their soul remains secure and pure, and although these people may not have the materialistic pleasures of the world, they have the inner happiness, spirituality and contentment that others lack. They need not worry as a person does not profit if they gain the whole world and lose their soul instead.

But for those people who do sell their souls for personal gain, and indeed there are so many hundreds and thousands of them including me – God Help Them! God help me.

HAPPY EVER AFTER?


A friend wrote :

When we learn to stop identifying completely with “thought” and “emotion” ..that is to say “ego” ..that is the “state ” to “be” . .. then that is the “Truth” … the Truth is inseparable from who you are.

It makes me wonder does ego always account for unhappiness? Sometimes, a human is faced with certain circumstances, events and obstacles, that shake our very existence . These events don’t really have to do with ego, but deep sorrow over events which are just out of your control. Isn’t it human to go down and low in those times, as long as you are focused enough to bounce back with zeal and vigor?

I have gone in a deep pit of emotions recently and i will not say that i am in the mood to sieze the happiness. I just know that it is essential to go through these low moments and infact embrace the melancholy of this dark pit in order to be happy and to learn to be happy again.

We have to go through the depression and the sadness to be able to deal with it- to be ready for happiness- because if you do not go through the pain and experience it, your so called happiness may be a facade and demons will sooner or later catch up with you.

Happiness indeed is a state of mind. And if you choose to be happy, you can be. For some that is easy, and for some, it’s a struggle…

We all have different life issues so obviously our point of views will differ. It’s just that some of us are going through the journey and some are closer to the destination.

In my little exposure to the world, i have noticed that some ( as opposed to all ) people find it really hard to deal with setbacks and tragedies that suck the life out of the best of us.  People prefer to take sleeping pills or go out partying and drinking, and sometimes just avoid thinking about the problem itself.

My question is, WHO DOES NOT WANT TO BE HAPPY?

Most people do, right? But does this mean that in the quest to be happy, you actually lose sight of the fact that life is about the ups and downs and the ying and the yang?

Life cannot be picture perfect all the time. So yes, even though i like to think of myself as a very non complicated person, but i would prefer to deal with the sadness too. It teaches you a lot. It makes you grow. It makes you understand. It makes you more open to other people’s plight. For me, life should be embraced with entirety- the sadness and happiness of it all.

Then, there is the question as to whether  happiness really has to be linked to other people?

Well, ideally, it should not be, right?  I mean, most people have really reached that point in life where they are emotionally independent, or well, at least some people like to say that. But, are they?

I do think that despite all that jazz and shmaz and all the nice perfect things people say, we all ( and this is just my opinion) like to be cared for.

If someone gives me flowers, it would make me super happy.  If i buy flowers for myself, that would make me happy too, but if someone else did, it would make me feel extra special.

If someone gave me a birthday surprise, i would be pleasantly happy . errm… yes, i can buy my own cake and blow my own candle and call all my friends to my place, but, nothing beats the happiness when you know people care and have made an effort for you.

I am not scared to admit all this. I am not a super woman. I have emotional needs and maybe once in a year, it wouldn’t hurt to make me feel that maybe, i am cared for. :p

So no, i do not think there is something as Happily Ever After. But there is definitely, those little moments of happiness that you get from the vaguest, tiniest and the most unusual of places and events, that really make life blissful sometimes.

Right?

=)

Go Figure!!


I don’t understand why everyone and anyone wants to be figured out by the other, or wants the other to figure them out. And then we get disgruntled, disappointed, angered and frustrated when we realise that no one understands us,- not even the one you thought did. *Surprise. Surprise*

No one can. People change. You change. I change. Even we change. Circumstances and Events change. Choices and tastes change. Then why is there always an overbearing expectation that atleast you should know how a particular person thinks and feels? We are all trying.

Really. I don’t think anyone really knows me. Heck! I don’t even think i fully know myself.

Shouldn’t we cut each other some slack? I mean why is it just so difficult for you to tell a person what you think and feel, rather than expect that by some crazy act of telepathy, they will know what you think in seconds.

Hmm? Hmm? Hmmm?

Loneliness


The only times i have felt lonely is :

a- When i miss my loved ones
b- When there is a communication gap or miscommunication between me and the ones i love.
c- When i am stuck in a gathering where i cannot relate to the people owing to various reasons such as values and interests. If you find yourself in such a place for an hour or more, trust me- you would be lonely and would want (i) the event to finish a.s.a.p (ii) want a friend to walk in.

Loneliness is essentially different from solitariness i.e. in this case, being comfortable with your own self and thoughts and your own company, as opposed to loneliness when you want a loved one to be around you or where you are seeking to communicate or be understood by a certain someone, and the same is not being achieved. You can be lonely in the company of another as well.

Different people have different preferences. i know people who just need to be around folks and go out to feel happy- in the absence of company, they feel depressed. But i also know people, who may be with people, but will be completely aloof and in their own world.

Me- I’m a little of both. I am lonely at times when i miss my loved ones and then there are times, when i just want to be alone , with a good book in hand, a notepad and a pen, and me and my own thoughts. *Bliss.*

Lets face it. we are not all similar. Therefore our needs are different too. For some people, loneliness may not be an introspective phase, they may instead actually suffer from depression.

Loneliness is not essential for self introspection and learning and neither is being alone. It is ofcourse a great opportunity but some people can learn by an event, by observation, by simply thinking and evaluating things. I repeat that loneliness is a negative feeling. if anybody ever feels that someone may be going through that phase, reach out to them- you may be doing a lot for them simply by talking to them.

Pretense


We pretend to be strong, but the truth of the matter is – we so miss you and sometimes we choose sidestepping on the very roads walked with you, because that is our only catharsis.. oblivion

George Carlin – Master Piece



Isn’t it amazing that George Carlin – comedian of the 70’s and 80’s – could write something so very eloquent…and so very appropriate.

A Message by George Carlin:

george-carlin-rh04

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete…

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don’t send this to at least 8 people….Who cares?

No Guarantees


helpless

There was so much i wanted to write but somehow words have dissipated into thin air making me feel utterly helpless.

Helplessness. that is what has been driving me to the edge. Even though people say positive things and tell you about optimism and hope and say all those nice flowery words, you know deep inside- you are helpless. life is taking you exactly the way it wanted to, and despite all your efforts, wishes, prayers and positivity, you cannot prevent things from happening they want to.

Life. who has a guarantee for it? you? me? no one.?anyone?

If tomorrow a truck runs over me and i die. that’s just it, isn’t it? who can combat that? no one.

What if some one you love is undergoing physical pain and physical decline owing to a life threatening disease- and there is absolutely nothing you can do to make that person feel better- you feel helpless.

Helpless.helpless.helpless. spare me the cliched words of encouragement and speeches of optimism-because you know you practice it religiously infront of the person you love. But can you take the pain away? can you wave your hands, snap your fingers and cure the disease, recuperate the body and give good health. you cannot. you cannot. helpless. helpless.

There are no guarantees in life, especially of the next breath you take. How can people be scheming, mean, rude and insensitive to other people in such a circumstance?

Take online forums, sometimes i see people going entirely ballistic and getting personal and mean beyond sense with other people. why? do they think that by sitting infront of a computer and writing smart words of taunts and sarcasm, they are achieving anything? Who knows the person you are being mean to, may be undergoing severe mental stress, may be going through a bad patch, may be undergoing depression and just one mean word may have driven them to the edge. think about it. life is short and unpredictable- why not spend it being kind. we all need kindness. someday you may be sitting on the other side, and you may craving for a kind word too.

Be helpful to each other because the truth of the matter my friends, is that we are not invincible. we have no guarantees- especially of the next breath we take.

Senseless


The senseless hate – for fun and jeer-
The senselessness of it all-
The short life
The people you love
Life ebbing away
Is hating worth anything?
It is worthless..

Does anyone know what turmoil is in another’s mind? You see smiles and chuckles, and you think it is all good. How does anyone know anything at all? we all need to know a bit more because we never know about anything in reality.

10 July 2008

Inner Peace


In the cut throat, back stabbing, materialistic society, every one wants to out do the other either in words or actions. And to me, competition is not a valid reason anymore- it is an empty excuse.

It is rooted in deep restlessness and dissatisfaction in the bodies one sees everyday including the one your spirit holds. There’s a lack of inner peace and contentment in the fake world.

Where does one find this enigmatic peace?

Search your soul ..

inner peace

inner peace


Aug 29, 2004 Sun 11:09 am