Some of our biggest fears stem from the fears that we have seen our loved ones battling with. We vow to never be on the receiving end of these fears and circumstances. We take meticulous steps to ensure that we are well equipped to battle them. But the truth is, are we really prepared?
I too struggle to shrug one such fear off the entwined nerves of my brain. Usually i succeed, but on dark nights the fear re-surfaces in the garb of a vivid nightmare. I wake up and flick the dream off my conscience like a speck of dust on an old wood table. But once the eyes close, the sub-conscious takes over and the nightmare continues from where i left it. Quite sadistically, i let it spread its weight down on me until the breath is knocked out of my lungs and i force myself to wake up again.
The nightmare keeps its feet firmly down on my thoughts the whole day. I cannot utter this to anybody, lest it comes true, lest it gains potency, lest it displaces my precariously placed imperfect world that i am grateful for.
No! Our fears never go away. No! They are always lurking around the corner. You can never really dis-associate yourself from the fear.
And God help me. Please.