Anger and frustration are two emotions that suck the ” good life” feeling off you. And they ruined the mood today.
I have lately been made to feel very inadequate.
If told to recite the urdu alphabet, there are high chances that i will miss the laam, the fey and the qaaf.
I do not know all the Surahs in the last chapter of the Quran.
I mispronounce Urdu words. I cannot understand whether “call aata hai” or “call aati hai.” I use both genders for incoming calls depending on my mood.
So yeah, not good. Self Esteem has been pretty low. I feel defensive but i am not showing it. I am feeling angry but i am pushing it down. This gave me a head ache today.
I have been writing down the Urdu alphabet to check myself.
I am attempting memorising some of the Surahs and it is painfully slow.
I am speaking very slowly and taking out each word with the right pronunciation. However, there are times i stumble when speaking fast and with emotion.
Nope, i am not feeling very confident any more.