Every one who knows me knows that I signed my marriage contract in a jhat pat fashion. The decision to go through this by both families was made three days before the actual ceremony. And two of those days were working days. In three days, we scrambled to get a caterer who would put a decent tent in my backyard, as well as serve good food. In three days, I had to pick a dress and get it stitched. In three days, we had to suddenly inform close family members. There was a lot of stress- a lot of pressure- a lot of everything. But it got done. There were perhaps fifty or less than fifty people who attended the ceremony and as far as I recall, the whole thing started at around Maghrib and ended well before eleven p.m.
Fact of the matter is that in three days with zero planning at our backs, both me and my husband did not get the opportunity to call as many people as we would have liked to. Personally, I always wanted a very low key, private affair but there were some friends whose presence would have been great. However, after all was said and done, in retrospect, I don’t regret anything. I had my ammi, my aboo, my aapi, my brothers, my aunty and close family members and at the end of the day , they were all the people I truly needed.
Yes, some friends do moan that I should have atleast informed them- but frankly what they do not understand is that in three days, two of which I spent at my office, I had perhaps gazillion of other things on my to do list. Leave alone, the to do list , my mental state was not such that I actually wanted to sit down call each friend, shock them , and chit chat more on that front. I just did not have the brain, or the time. I think even on the day of the ceremony, both me and hubby were dazed after all the crazy shopping, organizing, arranging and hearing our relatives talk. When it was all over, we were just glad that it happened and we could relax, eat, smile and chill.
There were friends who immediately understood when a day after the ceremony, the call was made to give the good news. But then there were some who did not understand. Some made me feel bad, upset and slightly marred my happiness. I was already in a daze and nervous as hell, not to mention having several panic attacks with the realization that, OMG! I am a WIFE now and these people were not exactly helping. So yeah I decided to put my foot down, and exclaim to myself, “ NO WAY, THIS IS MY MOMENT AND I WILL NOT LET PEOPLE’S TANTRUMS RUIN THIS FOR ME. What matters to me is this new relationship, this new bond and this new phase of my life and I will live it to my fullest. If there are some folks who cannot understand, it is their mind set and not mine. :-) “
And for those who immediately understood, my respect for them has increased two fold. :)
My husband still faces gripes from some friends. It amazes me. I think given the fact that he had to single handedly arrange everything in three days, from taking me shopping, taking his family shopping, arranging things, calling relatives and buying his own sherwani :p, I think people should really give him a break. He deserves it.
Last night, as we sat gorging 14th Street Pizza , Peporoni and Chicken Fajita to be exact and were watching the most nonsensical of movies that we eventually switched off for good, this realization was re-inforced.
We have each other and frankly the rest of the world, the hoo haas, the haw hayays and the nay sayers do not matter. I look forward to the future and at this point, if I had to do it again, I would do it the same way.
*MashaAllah* * MashaAllah* *MashaAllah*